Saturday, August 29, 2009

Songs and Dances

I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you that school started! I didn't abandon you!

Oh yeah, and the Sprite scare is over. He acted totally normal the next time I saw him. Whew.

Band class is different. Apparently, the saxophones were slouching too much, so he got some stools for us to sit on. As if that's going to stop them from finding some other way to get on his nerves.

I figured it would be more convenient to put all the dances and such in the same place, so I'm doing it in this post.

First up is the Gertrude Dance. Do this when you have accomplished something random, yet difficult.

The Gertrude Dance, by Cranberry

First, put your arms out like a cactus.
Bend your knees. Start hopping about from foot to foot, like your stepping on hot sand, keeping your knees bent. Whilst doing this, shout "HOYA, HOYA, HOYA, HOYA!"
Stop doing this after you're done shouting HOYA, raise your hands to Thor (whatever) and hop around in a circle. Whilst doing this, shout "OH-SHA, OH-SHA, OH-SHA, OH-SHA!" repeat three times.
After repeating three times, jump into a position that indicates you're holding an imaginary bazooka, fire it, and shout "SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE GREEN HAIR!!!" and point to your head. Whalla! You, my friend, have been accepted by the tribe!

Now is the loophole song. Just a reminder, you are to do this when you want to annoy someone, during a very boring class, or just to break a silence. For maximum annoyingness, sing like a chipmunk.

The Loophole Song
by Penguin

(Tip: if you REALLY want to annoy someone, sing like a chipmunk)
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
(Repeat until either you are no longer bored or everyone in the room is glaring at you)

The Kitty Bus song is to be sung on public means of transportation. Your own car does not count.

Kitty Bus by the Insane Trio

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Run on the telephone wiiiire,
Smile that freaky smiiiile,
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus!
(Sing at a fast, moving pace, and repeat until you have reached your destination.)

Now for Kitty Bus Dancing Version!

Kitty Bus Dance!

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
wave arms in a circular motion, indicating the wheels of a bus.

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line

Run on the telephone wiiire,
continue waving arms until the end of 'telephone', then strike pose of your choice.

Smile that freaky smiiile,
wave arms until the end of 'freaky', then strike a different pose of choice.

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus!
wave arms until 'kiiitty', then jazz hands

And, Finally, Kitty bus Voki!



Monday, August 24, 2009

Hurrah! Spoilsport!

Spoilsport's come to visit! She would like to say something to all my fans(not).

Spoilsport says; Ugh. Cranberry, you are so dead. If you want to even mention my name on this @#$%ing thing then you should at least do something decent...

Cranberry; Eccentric did it.

Spoilsport says; Okay. Now I'm really ticked off. I'm not SPOILSPORT, I'm Daikirai.

Cranberry; Haha, told you at the very beginning of this blog that she'd tell me to change her name to something normal once she found out about this.

Sayonara, Everybody!

Oh, Dear....

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in awhile, but I have been busy. My computer, for some reason, wasn't connected to the Internet, so don't blame me.

In answer to your question, Mr. Bob, the cupcakes were supposed to be white with those little sprinkly things, but they turned out to be dark brown with no sprinkles at all.

The title of this post is Oh, Dear because Spoilsport's coming over this afternoon. Perhaps she can write a post while she's here.

Last night, I had another bizarre (and slightly racist, I'm sorry, but I can't control my dreams very well.) dream. I was at some kind of event, and the Albino from a previous series of dreams I had kept following me around.

Toward the end of evening, Albino said (this is kinda weird, because in the previous dreams I've had with him in them, he never said anything except "that was a pleasant experience.") "Marry me, Cranberry!" (And I'm serious, he actually used my blogging name.)

I said to him, "No. You have to say it in Japanese."

"How do I do that? I don't know Japanese."

"It's simple. Just say, 'Mally me, Clanbelly!'"

So he did that, and I said, "No, that was French."

"I said it the exact same way you did!"

"Well, the Japanese aren't the only ones who mix up their l's with their r's! You've got to make it more oriental sounding."

"How?!"

"Say, 'Mally me, Clanbelly gozai-mas!'"

He said that, and I replied, "No. You're old," even though he's about the same age as me. I then grabbed a lemon meringue pie from a table next to me and threw it at him.

That's when I woke up.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Rude Awakening... Literally

Before I opened my eyes this morning, I had two thoughts. One, my scars from yesterday didn't hurt anymore, and two, I couldn't breathe. I know it's allergy season AND I have asthma, but I shouldn't be having an attack right when I wake up!

So, I open my eyes to see MUTANT'S FACE ABOUT HALF A MILLIMETER AWAY FROM MINE! AGH! Believe me, there is no scarier way to wake up than with that cat's snaggleteeth practically buried in your eyeballs. I was too scared to move.

I was thinking, Oh, great, now he's going to try and get me back for swinging him around yesterday, until I realized that he was purring. I was only able to realize this because he was sitting on my chest (blocking my airways, the little brat!) and his butt was vibrating. Well, that's what it felt like.

I don't know what to do, because if I push him off, he might claw me. So I just lift my arm up and pat his head a little, and he just purrs more and starts rubbing his face all over mine. He stood up to do this, so I saw my opportunity. I sat up very fast, grabbed him around his waist(Do cats have waists?) and fling him off my bed.

Well, Mutant must be more persistent than I thought, because he jumped right back onto the bed and rubbed his head against my feet, but it didn't seem to satisfy him, so he walked back to my head.

Ever since, I've been followed around by that cat wherever I go. When I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and put more ointment on my scars, I realized that he was following me because he liked the smell of the ointment.

I saw that the scars were already unnoticeable, and they didn't hurt anymore, so I just washed off the last of last night's ointment and left the tub open. Last I saw, Mutant was licking it's contents. Let's hope it's poisonous to cats.

Speaking of poisonous, yesterday, when I was forced to eat one of my sister's cupcakes, not only did I discover that they were the wrong color and extremely bloated, but they're also HOLLOW. Yes, my sister is the creator of a hollow cupcake. Joy, joy.

TWWOTF is going to visit today, undoubtedly going to ramble about the amazing time she had at camp and how I should've been there, blah blah blah. You know what, TWWOTF? I wish I had been there too. Then I might have had better things to do than yammer on about how incredibly bored I am.

Then again, I wouldn't have been able to attend the Web 2.0 class that started this whole thing. Everyone knows I'm not technologically gifted, so I probably never would have figured out how to write a blog.

I really think this blog is turning out to be more about my life and friends than the actual Insane Trio, but I'll just leave the title and slogan the same. I think they're cool. Or funny. Something like that.

I don't really have anything else of importance to say, except to remind you that TWWOTF stands for The Wild Woman Of The Forest, even though she's not wild at all, and not often in the forest. In fact, The Wild Woman Of The Forest is very prim and proper(Which, in her case, is not a bad thing at all.)

Sayonara, suckers!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Cupcakes

Oh, great, now my idiotic sister is making cupcakes, and she's got this hopeful look on her face, as if she expects me to eat one. Look, she might be older than me, and I might not be much of a chef myself, but I've tasted her banana bread, and I feel very, very sorry for that cupcake mix.

Sayonara, everybody!

Urgh, Allergies!

I HATE allergy season. I went to bed at 8:00 last night, and I'm STILL sleepy.

Of course, that may be because I'm an early bird. No matter HOW late I go to sleep, I always wake up before 7:00. I hate it.

Don't have much to say, today, because I didn't do anything yesterday and I doubt I will be doing anything today. I almost want school to start, this is so boring.

Um, excuse me, what did I just say? I think I must have a few screws loose(Well, duh, what am I writing this blog for?)

It's nothing compared to Peanut, Miss Idiotic Sister, though. Yesterday, I heard her call Mutant cute. Again. Something must be very wrong with her.

This morning, I walked out of my room at 6:00 (My usual waking time. Don't feel sorry for me, I'm used to it.) and discovered two pairs of eyes staring at me from the other side of the room. I was still half asleep, so I didn't realize who the eyes belonged to, and I kinda freaked out.

I flipped on the light and discovered Prim and Mutant lying so close to each other, they looked like one cat with two heads. Only, one head was WAY prettier than the other.

Later, I decided I would try to become friends with them, just so I could be sure they wouldn't attack me in my sleep. I went upstairs to their usual hiding spot(the flowery blanket, which is a stupid hiding spot because it is in plain sight).

Mutant was the only one there, which I figured was good because his trust is WAY easier to gain than Prim's, and he was looking at me warily.

Now, before I tell you what I did next, let me remind you that I am used to dogs. Dogs like to play rough and take loud noises as signs of affection. I made friends with Stinky in just two steps, 1) accidentally dumping out an entire bag of dog treats right in front of him when he was a puppy and 2) when he was still small enough to lift, lifting him above my head, swinging him around, and yelling at the top of my lungs, "DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!"

I was four at the time, so of course that action didn't seem nearly as stupid as it does now. I was desperate to gain Mutant's trust, though, because he isn't declawed, and I figured cats aren't all that different from dogs, are they?

Wrong. Very wrong.

When I attempted to do the "ding-a-ling" action, he COMPLETELY flipped out, so now I have a majority of scars all over my head from his scratching.

And school's a week away. That'll give Mr. 7S, my Advising teacher, a GREAT impression. Why do I have to be in the troublesome Advising class this year?!

He gives detentions out to people if their shirts aren't tucked in at the back. I'm certain to be pegged as a troublemaker. Aah, whatevs. I only get graded in one of the classes I have with him.

And plus, Science is my best subject. Haha, try to have a grudge against me now, Mr. 7S!

Speaking of which, I called up Penguin yesterday to compare schedules. We don't have any main classes together, but all of our Specials are together. We never have any classes together, and now this?!

It's so weird. I'm always in all my classes with Mini-me, and now I don't. I haven't been in the same class as Penguin since fourth grade, when we have all our classes with the same class and teacher. Now we've got all the same classes. Weird.

Speaking of Mini-me, I can hardly call her that anymore! I used to be totally tall, but when I went to the book sale, all my classmates were way taller! Not necessarily taller than me just yet, but they're all catching up!

Mini-me is still tiny, but she's not nearly as small as she was before! Penguin is taller than me now! I talked to Penguin about it all on the phone when I called her, and she started laughing at me! Grr!

Penguin tells me that Spoilsport's still short, though, so every cloud has a silver lining. For all I know, though, Penguin might have shot up so much that what seems small to her is colossal to me. Crud.

Oh, well. Sayonara, everybody!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Drat.

That stupid mutant cat is at it again! I thought Fatso had scared him off by now, but Mutant was just drinking the water out of Fatso's bowl again! Urgh! My poor fish...

By the way, I recently figured out that Mutant is not only part cat, ferret, camel, and snaggletooth tiger, but he also has some seal in him, too. Joy, joy.

I forgot to mention this yesterday, but I realized something at the used book sale for my school. Sprite, for some reason, wouldn't-

Oh, crap, is Mutant barfing again?! It always sounds so gross when he does that!

Eew. Well, it isn't my problem. He's my sister's cat. Now, if only she'd train him not to terrorize my fish. I'm more of a dog person myself. I guess that's why Stinky loves me so much.

Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier. For some odd reason, Sprite wouldn't talk to me when I saw him at the used book sale. What a weirdie.

I mean, he always bothers me when we're in band class(made even worse by the fact that we both play the flute, so we sit next to each other.), so I figured he should at least say hi.

We have uniforms at our school, so maybe that's it. He's used to seeing me in a skirt, so he didn't recognize me when I was wearing pants.

That must be the stupidest thing I've said all day. Oh, well, there's plenty of time left for me to say something stupider.

Last night, my friend, Mini-me, called me to compare schedules. WE HAVE NO CLASSES TOGETHER WHATSOEVER. I always have pretty much ALL my specials with her! I haven't not been in the same class with her since... since I entered the school in first grade.

Weird. I'm in the same Homeroom class as Spoilsport, so I know I have one class with one friend, but I don't know about the rest at all.

It must be Jazz Band's fault. This is the first year our school offers Jazz Band, so of course I joined. None of my friends that are girls are in Band(in fact, I'm the only girl in Band overall), so it makes sense that Jazz Band will throw things off a bit.

Oh, well. I'll probably have a ton of classes with my Band buddies. The boys are usually more fun than girls, anyway.

I'm a bit nervous about seventh grade. Not only is it the first year we have dances, but it's the first year we have EXAMS.

I never study, and yet, on tests, I get an A average. Except for in Social Studies. I hate that class. It's not the teachers, because, for some reason, all the Social Studies teachers in my school are AWESOME, but I just really don't like the subject.

Anyway, back to what I was yammering about... So, yeah, my mom says that if I actually put some effort into my work, I'd be a genius. Why bother, though, if I get awesome grades without trying?

For example, last year in Science, my best subject, I got the same grade without studying as my friend who studies ALL THE TIME, and I didn't even do the extra credit when he did.

He asked me what my score was, so I showed him. It was a perfect score, and he had a perfect score, too, so he asked me which question I got wrong, because he just figured I did extra credit. When I told him that I didn't get any wrong, I just didn't do extra credit, he was gaping like mad.

Science is his best subject, too. Haha, loser.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Locker.

Okies, so I'm all set up for school. I went to my school and went to the used book sale (and bought Spoilsport's school books, because she's too lazy to come back from her vacation to do so.). I got all my books, decorated my locker, and bothered Penguin (who happened to be there at the time.).

And now I'm bored. Again.

The day after I got back from the wilderness, I went to a third cousin's Sweet Sixteen party. Now, before I go into detail about it, let me say this; NO ONE in my family is on drugs. We all get high off our own adrenaline(Which we have a lot of).

The Sweet Sixteenee's father, when we drove up, asked my parents, "Are you thirsty? If you are, we've got a kegger out back." This being a SWEET SIXTEEN, I found this rather odd.

Instead of sixteen candles on the cake(There were thirty-seven, if you're wondering), Sixteenee's dad roasted sixteen chickens over an open fire. If you knew my family, you'd know that this means stabbing all sixteen chickens through with a HUGE stick, then pouring a lot of gasoline all over your front lawn, then setting the stick on top of the resulting fire.

I go to a very prim and proper school, so I don't have many friends who can honestly say that they have any close male relatives who have hair that grows past their shoulders. I have about fourteen.

I don't think I can tell you any more without making you start having nightmares, so I'll start on the video. I heard this song and IMMEDIATELY fell in love with it. It's Crashed the Wedding by Busted. Enjoy.

Monday, August 17, 2009

I did it!


I did it! I figured it out ! I'm sorry if it's a bit small, but at least I did it! Enjoy Weird Intro!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Woot!

I'm back! I have so much to talk about! I cant wai-

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I'm Going!

I'm going away at 10:30 this morning, so I figured I should at least write a good-bye post(Why bother, I'm only going to be gone for five days.)

This morning, I was watering my mom's plants when I got bored and decided to spray myself with the hose. When I came back in, my mom started shrieking, "(Insert real name here)!!! Can't you ever do something with a hose without spraying yourself with it?!"

She started going on about how we were going to have to get me into different clothes and how this was going to be bad for our trip karma(whatever that means), when I pointed out that I was in my pajamas. They weren't even the ones I was planning to take.

She calmed down after that. I think it's pretty obvious that I get my (lack of) attention span from my dad.

My mom and I are the only ones going to my aunt and uncle's cabin. My dad's going on a business trip and Peanut's got a swimming camp she absolutely CAN'T miss(Don't be fooled, she just doesn't want to deal with our cousin, Monkey). She'll be staying at her friend's house. Stinky, Prim, Mutant and Fatso are staying home (of course).

I have just figured out that Mutant is also part seal. Oh, joy.

Speaking of which, the other day, I was in bed at 9:00 pm, reading, and Peanut was in her bed (she shares a room with me, which I think is a VERY bad idea), cuddling with Mutant. She was cooing at him, and if I'm not mistaken, I believe she called him "cute." I don't think she's right in the head.

I will miss you all. Sayonara!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You Belong with me!

Okay, I REALLY love this song, so if you don't, I don't care!



Aah, luurve.

So, I really don't have much to say, except this: I'm going to my aunt and uncle's cabin tomorrow, so don't expect a post for a few days, okay?

I suppose I'll post the new dances I came up with now. First is Kitty Bus. The lyrics are one line above the appropriate dance moves, which are in italics, okay?

Kitty Bus Dance!

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
wave arms in a circular motion, indicating the wheels of a bus.

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line

Run on the telephone wiiire,
continue waving arms until the end of 'telephone', then strike pose of your choice.

Smile that freaky smiiile,
wave arms until the end of 'freaky', then strike a different pose of choice.

Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus!
wave arms until 'kiiitty', then jazz hands

... Whoo! Good news - I think Penguin's coming back soon, but Spoilsport's going to Virginia after camp, so I think I'll let Penguin write a few entries! Whaddaya think?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

New template!

To celebrate my 25 posts, I have chosen a new template for my blog! Do ya like it?

I really haven't got much to say. Sorry for bothering you, I'm just really bored.

Meanwhile, I have dances for the loophole song and Kitty Bus! I just don't feel like posting them now. Sorry!

Idiotic sister

My idiotic sister comes along and swipes the whole Eastern section of the pyramid. Drat. She goes away chuckling. It's not funny.

My pyramid is ruined.

At least I can still eat Skittles. Yum, yum.

OH MY GOD!!! This is my twenty-sixth post! I've had more than 25 posts! Sweet!

I must celebrate!!!

Here's my favorite parody. It's called Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged. It's very funny, though it can be inappropriate. My favorite character is Kaiba.

"Screw the rules, I have money."

"Kaiba, if you truly wish to know, then TALK TO THE HAND!!!"

Aah, I love this.

Pyramid

Building a pyramid out of Skittles.

Skittles!

Eating Skittles. Yum, yum.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I tried...

I tried, I really did. I couldn't figure out how to post it on there. Sorry. I'll get it to you somehow! I promise!

Urgh...

I have been made to work at the snack bar at the hockey rink my dad works at. Even though I already have all my work service done for the school year (And it hasn't even started yet. Booyah!). It is boring, but my dad pays me in slurpies. What do you call it? Icees? Slushies? Well, I call them slurpies.

Don't ask me why, but they give me gas. Why do I like them so much, then?

I brought a sketchbook with me to the rink today. I drew really random stuff. Would you like to see them? They're comics about me and my friends. I've photoshopped them so you can read them.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

VP

I love the term VP. It could stand for Vice President. Or Very Pregnant. Vaguely Pressurized. Or my favorite singer, Venetian Princess. Haha, try making a sensible sentence out of that!

The Vice President is Very Pregnant and is Vaguely Pressurized by Venetian Princess.

I recently had an odd dream. I dreamed that a friend from one of the classes I have just completed, Ariella (Of course that's not her real name, nitwit!), had set up a booth in my school. The booth was labeled "Advice; Fifty Cents."

I stopped and looked at the booth, but didn't get in line. Ariella was sitting inside the booth, calling for the next customer, when a buddy of mine from school, Sprite, went up. He sat on the stool and gave Ariella fifty cents.

Ariella listened to his question, then just sat there. Sprite asked, "So, are you going to answer my question or not?"

Ariella replied, "Oh, you wanted me to answer? I'm going to need another fifty cents." Sprite was weirded out, but he gave her the money. Now Ariella said, "I forgot the question, that'll be fifty cents if you want to say it again."

He gave her fifty cents. She said, "I've lost concentration. Seventy-five cents."

He looked at her and said, "You're just cheating me out of my money!"

She nodded and said, "I'll stop right now for ten dollars." He gave it to her, muttering under his breath. She held it up to the light and said, "It ain't legit. Shame on you for trying to counterfeit! Twenty dollars."

That's when Sprite just got up and walked away.

The funny thing is, Ariella isn't the type to do that to people. Weird. Sayonara!