It worked!

Hurrah! What I said worked!! So well, in fact, I'll tell you something funny!

I somehow ended up saying an entire Shakespeare MONOLOGUE that I didn't even know I knew, which belongs to Helena from A Midsummer Night's Dream. Here it is.

HELENA: How happy some o'er other some can be!

Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.

But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so;

He will not know what all but he do know.

And as he errs, doting on Hermia's eyes,

So I, admiring of his qualities.

Things base and vile, holding no quantity,

Love can transpose to form and dignity.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,

And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

Nor hath Love's mind of any judgment taste;

Wings, and no eyes, figure unheedy haste.

And therefore is Love said to be a child,

Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.

As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,

So the boy Love is perjured everywhere.

For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia's eyne,

He hailed down oaths that he was only mine;

And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,

So he dissolved, and show'rs of oaths did melt.

I will go tell him of fair Hermia's flight.

Then to the wood will he to-morrow night

Pursue her; and for this intelligence

If I have thanks, it is a dear expense.

But herein mean I to enrich my pain,

To have his sight thither and back again.

Yeah, Sir Limey Pants sure backed off after that. If ever you need to turn down a lime, bring out the Helena inside.

Now for the funny thing! If you go to Google and type in "find Chuck Norris," and click I'm feeling lucky, something REALLY funny shows up! I'm serious! Do it!

Sayonara!

What I will do.

I know what I'll say to him. I will ask myself, "What would Shakespeare do?" Then go up to him and spout off the first Shakespeare quote I can think of.

I'm hoping it's either "Alas, poor Yorick," from Hamlet, or "Out, damn spot, out, I say!" from Macbeth. They both seem like rejection sentences(Well, not really in the case of 'Yorick,' but I really want to say that for some reason).

Sayonara!