I have lost my purpose in life. No, not because Spoilsport's leaving. I've totally gotten over that now. We've exchanged E-mails, so things should be all right.
Nothing unusual has happened to me today. NOTHING. No dive bombing kitties. No klutzy accidents. You might say I've actually had a normal Saturday. I have not felt the inclination to do the Gertrude Dance even once today.
Uh, excuse me, what did I just say? I think I might just have spouted something SANE. Horror, horror. Wait here while I go whack myself in the head in an attempt to recover my insanity.
Ow. That didn't help at all. I guess I'll have to do the Gertrude Dance several times over in order to go back to my normal ways.
Wait, I don't want to be normal. I want to get weirder, because my life today is distinctly lacking in oddity.
I don't really feel like doing the Gertrude Dance, though.
Okay, I've got to stop that. Bad brain.
Being normal is kind of refreshing, though.
SHUT UP.
Please don't exhibit that rude behavior towards me.
SHUT UP. BAD, BAD BRAIN!
Ow.
Haha, That's what you get for being normal! Ow. I've got to remember that it's me I'm whacking, too.
Good bye-
WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?!
*my normal side retreats to the corner and pouts*
Good brain. Sayonara, Everybody!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Sob.
Spoilsport's moving to Washington at New Year's.
You don't actually expect me to write the goodbye phrase now, do you?
You don't actually expect me to write the goodbye phrase now, do you?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
More songs
I've got some new dances and such, so here goes!
The Condiments song. To be sung at a dinner table when conversation is lacking. Sing to the tune of The Continents song.
The Condiments song, by Cranberry
Do you know the condiments, condiments, condiments?
Do you know the condiments? Yes, I do.
Ketchup, mustard, tartar sauce, mayonnaise,
Steak sauce, hot sauce, and relish!
Now, Thank You For The Poultry, by Penguin. This is to be sung in the same situation as The Condiments song. Sing to the tune of Thank You For The Music.
Thank You for the Poultry, by Penguin
Thank you for the poultry, the food I'm eatin'
Give us back our poultry, we're really hungry!
Thank you for the chicken, we need the protein
The chicken's name is Chuck, so CHUCK! HIM! FARTHER!
Yeah, Penguin came up with that in Gym class today. We were playing a game that was a weird mix of soccer, hockey, and basketball. The "ball" was a rubber chicken. Penguin and I were on opposite teams(Spoilsport isn't in our Gym period, so of course she wasn't there) and every time the other's team stole the chicken, we'd yell, "GIVE US BACK OUR POULTRY!"
Halfway through the game, we randomly started calling the chicken Chuck. You can see where that lead.
About the story I'm writing... I know I'm getting good progress on it, but the vampires and werewolves theme is kinda taken right now(Even though I started it before Twilight became popular!), so I'm going to shelf that idea for now until the Twilight shenanigans has died down. I never liked that series. Horrible writing quality.
I'm going to start working on a new idea that I've had. I guess I'll put in some character bios later.
Penguin and I were talking about answering machines (don't ask how THAT came up) when we were waiting to be picked up from school today, and I came up with an INGENIOUS one. Here goes;
"Hello, Transvestites Incorporated, Severus Snape speaking. (pause) Yes, this is the Self-Help line. (pauses) Oh, great, not another Harry Potter fan. Yes, I was going from man to woman when something went wrong, and they had to stop. Now, I'm stuck with the body of a man and all the hormones and mood swings of a woman. NOW, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU REALLY WANT?! (pauses) Oh, you want to leave a message for (insert my real name here)? That's easy. Here you go(beep)."
There's one of them, and here's the other.
"IT'S ALIIIIVE! (in another voice) Yosh."
Penguin likes to say Yosh, so that's a tribute to her right there.
I should probably do my homework now, so sayonara, everybody!
The Condiments song. To be sung at a dinner table when conversation is lacking. Sing to the tune of The Continents song.
The Condiments song, by Cranberry
Do you know the condiments, condiments, condiments?
Do you know the condiments? Yes, I do.
Ketchup, mustard, tartar sauce, mayonnaise,
Steak sauce, hot sauce, and relish!
Now, Thank You For The Poultry, by Penguin. This is to be sung in the same situation as The Condiments song. Sing to the tune of Thank You For The Music.
Thank You for the Poultry, by Penguin
Thank you for the poultry, the food I'm eatin'
Give us back our poultry, we're really hungry!
Thank you for the chicken, we need the protein
The chicken's name is Chuck, so CHUCK! HIM! FARTHER!
Yeah, Penguin came up with that in Gym class today. We were playing a game that was a weird mix of soccer, hockey, and basketball. The "ball" was a rubber chicken. Penguin and I were on opposite teams(Spoilsport isn't in our Gym period, so of course she wasn't there) and every time the other's team stole the chicken, we'd yell, "GIVE US BACK OUR POULTRY!"
Halfway through the game, we randomly started calling the chicken Chuck. You can see where that lead.
About the story I'm writing... I know I'm getting good progress on it, but the vampires and werewolves theme is kinda taken right now(Even though I started it before Twilight became popular!), so I'm going to shelf that idea for now until the Twilight shenanigans has died down. I never liked that series. Horrible writing quality.
I'm going to start working on a new idea that I've had. I guess I'll put in some character bios later.
Penguin and I were talking about answering machines (don't ask how THAT came up) when we were waiting to be picked up from school today, and I came up with an INGENIOUS one. Here goes;
"Hello, Transvestites Incorporated, Severus Snape speaking. (pause) Yes, this is the Self-Help line. (pauses) Oh, great, not another Harry Potter fan. Yes, I was going from man to woman when something went wrong, and they had to stop. Now, I'm stuck with the body of a man and all the hormones and mood swings of a woman. NOW, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU REALLY WANT?! (pauses) Oh, you want to leave a message for (insert my real name here)? That's easy. Here you go(beep)."
There's one of them, and here's the other.
"IT'S ALIIIIVE! (in another voice) Yosh."
Penguin likes to say Yosh, so that's a tribute to her right there.
I should probably do my homework now, so sayonara, everybody!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Songs and Dances
I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you that school started! I didn't abandon you!
Oh yeah, and the Sprite scare is over. He acted totally normal the next time I saw him. Whew.
Band class is different. Apparently, the saxophones were slouching too much, so he got some stools for us to sit on. As if that's going to stop them from finding some other way to get on his nerves.
I figured it would be more convenient to put all the dances and such in the same place, so I'm doing it in this post.
First up is the Gertrude Dance. Do this when you have accomplished something random, yet difficult.
The Gertrude Dance, by Cranberry
First, put your arms out like a cactus.
Bend your knees. Start hopping about from foot to foot, like your stepping on hot sand, keeping your knees bent. Whilst doing this, shout "HOYA, HOYA, HOYA, HOYA!"
Stop doing this after you're done shouting HOYA, raise your hands to Thor (whatever) and hop around in a circle. Whilst doing this, shout "OH-SHA, OH-SHA, OH-SHA, OH-SHA!" repeat three times.
After repeating three times, jump into a position that indicates you're holding an imaginary bazooka, fire it, and shout "SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE GREEN HAIR!!!" and point to your head. Whalla! You, my friend, have been accepted by the tribe!
Now is the loophole song. Just a reminder, you are to do this when you want to annoy someone, during a very boring class, or just to break a silence. For maximum annoyingness, sing like a chipmunk.
The Loophole Song by Penguin
(Tip: if you REALLY want to annoy someone, sing like a chipmunk)
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
(Repeat until either you are no longer bored or everyone in the room is glaring at you)
The Kitty Bus song is to be sung on public means of transportation. Your own car does not count.
Kitty Bus by the Insane Trio
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Run on the telephone wiiiire,
Smile that freaky smiiiile,
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus!
(Sing at a fast, moving pace, and repeat until you have reached your destination.)
Now for Kitty Bus Dancing Version!
Kitty Bus Dance!
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
wave arms in a circular motion, indicating the wheels of a bus.
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line
Run on the telephone wiiire,
continue waving arms until the end of 'telephone', then strike pose of your choice.
Smile that freaky smiiile,
wave arms until the end of 'freaky', then strike a different pose of choice.
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus!
wave arms until 'kiiitty', then jazz hands
And, Finally, Kitty bus Voki!
Oh yeah, and the Sprite scare is over. He acted totally normal the next time I saw him. Whew.
Band class is different. Apparently, the saxophones were slouching too much, so he got some stools for us to sit on. As if that's going to stop them from finding some other way to get on his nerves.
I figured it would be more convenient to put all the dances and such in the same place, so I'm doing it in this post.
First up is the Gertrude Dance. Do this when you have accomplished something random, yet difficult.
The Gertrude Dance, by Cranberry
First, put your arms out like a cactus.
Bend your knees. Start hopping about from foot to foot, like your stepping on hot sand, keeping your knees bent. Whilst doing this, shout "HOYA, HOYA, HOYA, HOYA!"
Stop doing this after you're done shouting HOYA, raise your hands to Thor (whatever) and hop around in a circle. Whilst doing this, shout "OH-SHA, OH-SHA, OH-SHA, OH-SHA!" repeat three times.
After repeating three times, jump into a position that indicates you're holding an imaginary bazooka, fire it, and shout "SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE GREEN HAIR!!!" and point to your head. Whalla! You, my friend, have been accepted by the tribe!
Now is the loophole song. Just a reminder, you are to do this when you want to annoy someone, during a very boring class, or just to break a silence. For maximum annoyingness, sing like a chipmunk.
The Loophole Song by Penguin
(Tip: if you REALLY want to annoy someone, sing like a chipmunk)
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
Don't get stuck in the loooooop-hoooooole,
Or you will die.
(Repeat until either you are no longer bored or everyone in the room is glaring at you)
The Kitty Bus song is to be sung on public means of transportation. Your own car does not count.
Kitty Bus by the Insane Trio
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus
Run on the telephone wiiiire,
Smile that freaky smiiiile,
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus!
(Sing at a fast, moving pace, and repeat until you have reached your destination.)
Now for Kitty Bus Dancing Version!
Kitty Bus Dance!
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
wave arms in a circular motion, indicating the wheels of a bus.
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus,
same as previous line
Run on the telephone wiiire,
continue waving arms until the end of 'telephone', then strike pose of your choice.
Smile that freaky smiiile,
wave arms until the end of 'freaky', then strike a different pose of choice.
Go kitty kitty, go kiiitty kitty bus!
wave arms until 'kiiitty', then jazz hands
And, Finally, Kitty bus Voki!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hurrah! Spoilsport!
Spoilsport's come to visit! She would like to say something to all my fans(not).
Spoilsport says; Ugh. Cranberry, you are so dead. If you want to even mention my name on this @#$%ing thing then you should at least do something decent...
Cranberry; Eccentric did it.
Spoilsport says; Okay. Now I'm really ticked off. I'm not SPOILSPORT, I'm Daikirai.
Cranberry; Haha, told you at the very beginning of this blog that she'd tell me to change her name to something normal once she found out about this.
Sayonara, Everybody!
Spoilsport says; Ugh. Cranberry, you are so dead. If you want to even mention my name on this @#$%ing thing then you should at least do something decent...
Cranberry; Eccentric did it.
Spoilsport says; Okay. Now I'm really ticked off. I'm not SPOILSPORT, I'm Daikirai.
Cranberry; Haha, told you at the very beginning of this blog that she'd tell me to change her name to something normal once she found out about this.
Sayonara, Everybody!
Oh, Dear....
I'm sorry that I haven't posted in awhile, but I have been busy. My computer, for some reason, wasn't connected to the Internet, so don't blame me.
In answer to your question, Mr. Bob, the cupcakes were supposed to be white with those little sprinkly things, but they turned out to be dark brown with no sprinkles at all.
The title of this post is Oh, Dear because Spoilsport's coming over this afternoon. Perhaps she can write a post while she's here.
Last night, I had another bizarre (and slightly racist, I'm sorry, but I can't control my dreams very well.) dream. I was at some kind of event, and the Albino from a previous series of dreams I had kept following me around.
Toward the end of evening, Albino said (this is kinda weird, because in the previous dreams I've had with him in them, he never said anything except "that was a pleasant experience.") "Marry me, Cranberry!" (And I'm serious, he actually used my blogging name.)
I said to him, "No. You have to say it in Japanese."
"How do I do that? I don't know Japanese."
"It's simple. Just say, 'Mally me, Clanbelly!'"
So he did that, and I said, "No, that was French."
"I said it the exact same way you did!"
"Well, the Japanese aren't the only ones who mix up their l's with their r's! You've got to make it more oriental sounding."
"How?!"
"Say, 'Mally me, Clanbelly gozai-mas!'"
He said that, and I replied, "No. You're old," even though he's about the same age as me. I then grabbed a lemon meringue pie from a table next to me and threw it at him.
That's when I woke up.
In answer to your question, Mr. Bob, the cupcakes were supposed to be white with those little sprinkly things, but they turned out to be dark brown with no sprinkles at all.
The title of this post is Oh, Dear because Spoilsport's coming over this afternoon. Perhaps she can write a post while she's here.
Last night, I had another bizarre (and slightly racist, I'm sorry, but I can't control my dreams very well.) dream. I was at some kind of event, and the Albino from a previous series of dreams I had kept following me around.
Toward the end of evening, Albino said (this is kinda weird, because in the previous dreams I've had with him in them, he never said anything except "that was a pleasant experience.") "Marry me, Cranberry!" (And I'm serious, he actually used my blogging name.)
I said to him, "No. You have to say it in Japanese."
"How do I do that? I don't know Japanese."
"It's simple. Just say, 'Mally me, Clanbelly!'"
So he did that, and I said, "No, that was French."
"I said it the exact same way you did!"
"Well, the Japanese aren't the only ones who mix up their l's with their r's! You've got to make it more oriental sounding."
"How?!"
"Say, 'Mally me, Clanbelly gozai-mas!'"
He said that, and I replied, "No. You're old," even though he's about the same age as me. I then grabbed a lemon meringue pie from a table next to me and threw it at him.
That's when I woke up.
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